Flirting is when you force a bunch of sexual innuendo into an asexual conversation until it gets so awkward that she offers a sympathy laugh.
Flirting is when she’s like “Do you want the receipt?” And I’m all, “Nahhhhh…you keep that.”
Flirting is when you hold eye contact to the point where she has to ask you what the hell you’re looking at. And then you’re like, “Pffff…you tell me.”
Flirting is a pre-mating ritual where your imaginary sex life is sacrificed at the alter. It’s harmless. Like snuggling under a lead blanket during the x-ray of your loveless marriage.
The more I investigate the mysterious art of flirting the more I realize that it’s all about admitting nothing while suggesting everything.
Let’s get out of here.Sage Francis (via meekout)